Moments

There are many moments in life, when we are to make decisions. From deciding what to eat for breakfast, what to wear to work, to decisions such as which piece of property to purchase, or whom do we chose to sleep with tonight, we are constantly reminded to make a choice.

I dare say, there are many moments when i regret certain desicions that i've made.
For one, i'm not proud to say that i regret the day i gave up my scholarship to further my studies in Australia, just to stay in Penang.
I'm also not proud to say that i've chosen biology, instead of going mainstream like accountancy of management.

Sometimes, i may regret it. sometimes, i enjoy it. In fact, more often than not, i just ignore it. But then, there are times when such decisions come back into our minds to kick us in the ass.

I'm also not proud to say that there were moments when i feel like ramming my car into the tree...
Nor am i proud to say that i fear so much of not hurting myself that i've forgotten how to love.
But sometimes i wonder, is this the reality, or just some pretty illusions conjured just to ruin me.
I'm also not proud to admit that i am slightly depressed. Perhaps i've suppressed it so much that it had made the diva out of me..

But last night, i had one of the greatest moment in my life. i chose to walk away. it's hard, but i think it's right. perhaps it was one of the proudest moments that i have had in days. getting good reviews from my teacher for my training was great, but the moment when i chose to walk away instead of saying goodbye, i think it was wonderful.

Scorned am i, but what choices have i got. I've lowered all my defences, and tried to gain acceptance, but i guess it will not work. others may get a second chance, but not me. i don't have the heart to wait for a second chance.

anyhow, let's rejoice that i have found one of the greatest moments in this week of mine.

oh, in any case, i felt that i had one of the best moments teaching sun salutations last night. it was complete, perfect, and i even chuckled during my teaching. gosh, it was so powerful, energetic, yet calm... fitness magic, here i come!!! haha

ciao
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ben