taken

so, the launch has come and gone. it was a fun and hectic day. tiring, stressed, but it was worth it. besides, the yin and yang theme was so nice. and everyone (i mean the instructors) stook to the theme and was so sporting. it was fun getting to know klevin (senior bbalance in KL), and also meeting back ppl like ken (la diva), teoh (la thunder thighs..haha), and sharon (bbalance trainee). the energy was so high, and especially for jam..haha

felt a little taken...aback at the moment from certain quarters. also feel like being taken from granted from certain people. also felt like being taken for a ride from certain quarters...haih

found another new family, the body balance family.. guess i'll post up the many 'family' portraits here when i have the time. going off now

ciao
je t'aime
ben

121 - yay!!

welcome to post no. 121. haha. so soon, and i've written 121 posts on my life, and the nonsense surrounding it. it's really amazing to find this outlet for my thoughts..

again, this is gonna be a quickie, as i am still at work. life, as alan puts it, is still in routine. work, gym, home. nothing much, except for the occassional dinner with friends.. or that extra cup of coffee..

am launching body balance tomorrow. although i'm not the one presenting, i'm already feeling the tension in it. thankful that it's the first class in the morning, then i could head home to sleep. after all, i'll be in the gym again for body jam and body step classes. and not to mention, a birthday party to attend after the launch (gosh, i dread birthdays).

this is the last day of the fourth week that i'm working. in other words, it's been a month since i've started working. my name card is ready (and i've been handing them out), my cheque is in the bank, and i'm starting to get the hang of using my visa.. gosh, i think i seriously need to manage my finances prudently.

anyway, managed to bid a belkin for my laptop.. haha. yes. speak of managing finances. but then, who could resist a belkin?? just like which girl would give up their chanels..

ok, signing off now.

ciao,
je t'aime
ben

-post 121: end-

Quickie

here's a quickie to keep the blog 'alive'..haha

anyway, just finished work, but still enjoying the comfort of my office

feeling moody and unwell. i think i'm going to be sick. had 2 panadols just now, but i can still feel the heat behind my head, and the heavy sensation on my temples..

watched the incredible hulk on saturday. i dare say, this version beats ang lee's hands down. besides, there's so much emotion in the hulk that i actually felt like leaving the theater at certain moments to head to the toilet to clear my senses.

dunno what's wrong, but my emotions are running haywire too. tears want to fill my eyes for the past few days, but still, i couldn't manage to cry...

will be shadowing janis for the launch of bodybalance 41 come this saturday. this is the first time i'll be on stage for bodybalance launch, and the first time also as an instructor. can't wait. apparently, trainers from kl are also coming, so i think this time, it's gonna be a blast.

ok, enough of the quickie. am leaving now to go for coffee with rooney before working out. see ya ppl soon

ciao
je t'aime
ben

Yikes....

ok, i am really really sorry that i didn't have the time to update since the last post. my world is changing fast, and things are so different now as compared to before. previously, i only juggle between studies and leisure. now, i have to juggle work, leisure and also my part as an instructor. so, i guess the blog is somehow being neglected....

as mentioned, work and the gym dominates most of my time now. actually, i think i'm going a little overboard too cos i don't even have the time to sit down and finish the book that i am reading. i can only cover a few chapters in the week. damn. but i guess my body is slowly adapting to the changes. now, i could drive home after work and not fall asleep on the steering wheel (it nearly happened during the first 2 weeks).

started team teaching for bodybalance now. i guess it's a good experience, and i get better feedback from the members. now, i just can't wait for the new release. however, i have yet to really master the choreo for the whole release. i am so dead (tuition is this sunday.. yikes

anyway, despite all the craziness, managed to watch the happening (M. Night Shyamalan) and the missing (starring angelica lee) back to back. it was the craziest night of my life... and i am thankful that the person accompanying me didn't complain.

follow up from previous post.. still confused. managed to get my thoughts settled, but there is still a huge bout of confusion. the signals and signs are there, but i guess the move is impossible. i guess i should take a step back, take a bow, and leave the stage. as beautiful as this stage may be, it's not set for me to be in.

speaking of taking bows, i kinda get hooked on to rihanna's version of take a bow. it's so nice and it keeps on playing in my head. i guess i feel for the song too.. but then, no one cheated on me...haih. probably i cheated on myself for far too long.

had a sudden epiphany of being celibate until the end of my days. i wonder if this is possible. after all, i don't seeing myself consumating my love with anyone, or anything at all. worse, i don't even know if the faculty of love still exists or not.
i belive all i have now is compassion and friendly love.. true love just messes me up, even though it hasn't begin.

i'm starting to exhaust the strenght bestowed on me to move on.. i need new pillars or strenght to carry on.. i think i need new inspirations too.. ahaha

ok, enough for the updates. am going back to work now

ciao
je t'aime
ben

confused? deluded?

so, my first work week have ended. this is the first in the many many weeks to come. all is well, and i've managed to learn many things. and most importantly, i got to meet khoo salma nasution, one of the most vocal NGO representative in penang. she's very nice, and even asked me for some ideas..haha

watched kung fu panda yesterday. it was freaking hilarious, and i think it's a must watch for everybody. i just couldn't help but to laugh out loud in the theater. so cute...haha.

confused with my title? i'm confused with my life. my heart finally got the better of my head, and i did many things which is so not me. i just don't know what happened, what triggered everything, but i did what i wasn't supposed to do... and what's worse is that i spilled matters of my heart to a person.. argh. even as i'm typing this, i am confused....

the thing is, i know that the situation is impossible to happen. but why am i still getting and sending the wrong signals?? what are those signals supposed to mean? and i think i am deluded to think that those signals are meant for me...but they are, aren't they not?? argh!!

at the same time, my heart is crying slowly as i don't know what will happen. as much as i want to be, it's not possible.. and the worst part of my dilema is that i actually caught myself speaking to myself for about half an hour, addressing the heart...argh. i think i'm going crazy!!

ok, enough of this crazy post. i think i better get some rest before i go to work tomorrow. besides, i'm off to my first meeting with YB Chow, the state executive councillor in charged of the local government, traffic and environment.

did my first 'unofficial' balance class just now, from the start to the end. it's the most unconventional, unprepared class, but i think i pulled through, and i think i can finally start a class. i know i have to prepare for more, but my stage charisma is starting to be here. i have people now eager to see me teach, and i was actually flattered this morning to hear that someone actually enjoys looking at me on stage.. haha!!

ok, signing off now! until another day then..

ciao
je t'aime
ben

time management

no matter how late i seem to leave the house, i always happen to arrive in the office the earliest. this morning, i decided to leave at 7.35, detoured to the petrol station to fuel up, and yet managed to be the first to reach the office. if that's the case, then i'll probably catch up on more sleep tomorrow morning

i am so dead tired today. probably it's the adaptation and change period, from a lethargic lifestyle to one that is stuck at work. i was actually struggling to keep my eyes open this morning, and i think i can feel the tiredness in me coming up.. i think the other cause is the lack of things to do.. i am pouring over the project documents, but that's it. no briefing, no meetings..all no thanks to my superior who decided to take leave until tomorrow...

ok, i have to admit this.. i'm hooked onto facebook now..haha

until then,
ciao
je t'aime
ben

from work

this is the second day at work. once again, i am really early for work again. well, all things have started out fine...and there are various upcoming meetings and events to attend, organise and manage. hopefully, i can cope well in the new environment.

exam results are out. didn't do so well this time. after all the time spent on my research (refer to previous blogs), i only managed to score a B+. am wondering if it's all worth it?? probably, but am still wondering. heck, my cgpa is so bad this time that it's nowhere 3.5!!

quarterly just ended. didn't attend, but u can feel the hype for the next launch happening soon. then, i'll have more things to study, more things to learn, and more things to do.. will i be able to make it? let's hope so!!

read about rooney in alan's blog...funny, how we all became friends. and last night, i actually had a long chat with him (2 hours ++) after gym. i guess it's amazing how a simple conversation asking him about the origins of his racer-back could turn out to having heart to heart talk with him.. i guess this is the miracle of friendship.

anyway, signing off now and will be returning to work..

ciao
je t'aime
ben

a new day

i could not believe what i've just done... beyond my wildest thought, and i think my heart got the better of my brain.

just bought a LCD tv.. will be programming it later

am starting work tomorrow.. and i am still not asleep yet. i still wanna continue reading too...argh!! hopefully i'll be able to wake up tomorrow

shadowed this morning again..haha. it was fun. nice to have such big classes. really wish that i could generate that much buzz in the future. was also very happy that i managed to establish CRC