Tuesday, tuesday

ello ppl... don't worry, as i am not becoming a blog freak. just thought that i could use this to channel away some of my frustrations. haha.

anyway, it's been barely 24 hours since i last blogged.. and am now feeling the urge to just pen some thoughts.

ok, firstly, just came back from the local govt consultative forum. as usual, i just cannot escape from Murphy's law. this time, i'd forgotten to bring the stationery box. thankfully, it was all prepared and the office is near..

next, i chickened out again.. yes, yet again, i couldn't bring myself to go to the gym on a monday. i stopped right in front of the traffic light leading to island plaza, and turned away. if this persist, i guess i will have to give up my membership soon.

am still resorting to sleep as recovery for me. i guess when i sleep, it helps to silence those hurtful thoughts that plague me. either that or i am just probably stupid to just entertain those thoughts.

reversed queen of cups- page of wands- reversed 10 of cups- the lovers.
so, this was the reading of my tarot cards when i consulted on my love life (or the non-existance of it). the major arcana is supposed to put more pressure compared to the minor arcanas, and i am not certain if the lovers card would mean anything.

probably i've watched too much of 'touched by an angel' when i was small, and am now having the psyche that probably the reason that i am here is to help make a change. and seeing that my job is done, i should move on... but then, i guess i must be a 'fallen angel' too, cos i somehow get stuck recently while helping someone make a change. i guess the person that really needs to change is me.

am wanting a new wardrobe... just for the heck of it.

am going hiking this saturday, and then back home after that. guess that will make 3 weeks of change in my saturday schedule. if this goes on smoothly, i guess i could slowly get rid of the thorn in my heart.

speaking of heart... i think i may be suffering from mild angina pectoralis. it's caught me by surprise, i couldn't breath, it hurts, and sends a sharp pain into my ear. at first, i thought it was stress, but now, i am no longer sure of it..

my sinus is also creating another problem, and has my granny all worked up. she is so concerned and worried that it may be cancer.. haha. anyway, how do i put it to people that i wouldn't want to undergo any type of therapy if i do get diagnosed with cancer. hmm...

ok, enough of crap, back to work (reading today's newspaper for me..haha)

ciao
ben