friday afternoon musings

again, i'm stuck in the 'friday' mood. being idle for the past hour or two, i've decided to just rant a little here.. nothing much, just a few musings from the past few days..

to start off, harry potter 6. watched it last night. great. however, as many would agree, it doesn't leave much of an after taste. in fact, ralph finnes wasn't even in the film..strange, isn't it? but whatever it may be, i just can't wait for the next one. we're all in the HP limbo now. an after thought: bellatrix is really 'cool'. her maniacal appearance and all.. wow.

have been quite moody for the past couple of days, and couldn't really understand why. probably it's the change of phases, and i think i needed more time to adapt and survive.

found myself being a little dictatorial during one of the meetings. thankfully, i managed to stop myself and went to the loo. then only i realised, some of my childhood idols include hitler and eva peron. in fact, eva was a huge influence, making me realise that style and fashion must not be compromised.. hmm..

i think i finally saw something that wasn't intended to be seen, felt something and realised something. again, curtain call, and i shall leave the scene. i've played my part well enough, and my lines have ended.

found myself wondering a few things:
1. was seated on the couch last tues in gym, and wondered.. what the heck is everybody doing, coming to the gym, working out and all.. there were about 19 ppl on the floor, and 15 in the studio.. and then i asked myself. what am i doing there??

2. again wondering what makes a human. who dictates that two eyes, one nose, and a mouth is normal.. and what exactly are humans?? walking, living creatures?? what makes us more supreme than the other animals? is it our thoughts? what about animals' thoughts??

3. why am i born a human, and at this place and time? why am i born who i am today. had the previous generation made other choices, what would i be? will i be the same? or something different. and ultimately, why was i born as me??

4. why am i brown??

5. what defines work? sitting in the office?? i'm starting to lose passion and interest, so, what should i do??

i guess things are really random in my head. i just can't help it, but everything is undergoing a major overhaul. it felt as if i've just done a 'show-hand' in a poker game, when i'm holding a losing hand. now that times, up, i have to see to my defeat. i've lost all.. and soon, my sanity and humanity.