scrooge

watching x'mas carol reminded me quite a number of things. i can't say if they are right choices, but then, there are things to be learnt.
1. firstly, why do we celebrate x'mas? isn't it like another day to rob us?
2. why peace on earth and goodwill on men, when there is no peace in the heart of the person wishing so.
3. i realised that scrooge in disney's version is so so so mild, and so toned down. if only we had a darker version of scrooge.
4. and speaking of which, i guess he's my latest idol, then. cold, dry and sad (at least before the visitations)

had a convenient conversation with someone recently, and it seems like she'd just believe what i would say. is it really that in my face? am i that trust-worthy? or trust-able? i don't wanna be.

another conversation with another person made me realise that we are wanting the same thing.. that is to hope that someone is actually dreaming about our lifes, and just wake up. it is unbearable, and if only this is all just a dream..

i wish i could turn back time, to 3 years ago, when i first stepped through that door. i wished i could stop myself from entering, and sparing myself from all these. who would have thought, that the road leading down till now is filled with traps and thorns...

isn't it amazing that the one most peaceful place on earth, would be the office on a public holiday. i am getting the angina now.. hopefully will further the stimulation, to let it all out.

miracles, romances, passions, and wishful thinking... i think i should banish all this into the bin from now on. i know that it'll never happen, so why am i lingering?

ok, back to work now

ciao