mirror mirror

sometimes, i do like to sit back and wonder.. why am i doing all these. what is the worth of doing all these stuff, when all i get to be is just a wallflower. i mean, come on.. i spend money trying to look better, go for facials, i dress fine, i study hard... and yet, what do i get?? a lifetime of loneliness and despair? or a mockery of my life.

i understand the need to be comfortable in my own skin. but what if my skin is not what i desire?? my greatest weakness is very apparent, and i don't deny it. in fact, i have never liked the skin that i am in, and have tried so very hard to change it, mask it and all.. and yet, when it is down to the bare essentials, it is still my skin that matters.. when will we be able to rise above and see beyond the skin?

they say that smart women find it hard to have boyfriends. does it apply for men too? i am not sure, but given my conditions, i do feel like i'm stuck in the situation. a perfectly decent conversation goes un-noticed, ignored. so, is knowledge a boon or a bane?

a look in the mirror reveals the age, the weariness, the lethargy. am i able to sustain and move on with life? or shall i call it quits? if yes, how do i quit? show me a way...

ciao

[update 23:23hrs] again, i know that i have the ability to scare someone off forever.. haha. i guess this is the so called superpower huh. to the last good man on earth, stay strong and healthy..we love you!!

[update 00:30hrs] i will want to catch you when you fall, and you are certainly worthy of it. however, i know that there will be other angels lining up nearby, spreading their wings to protect you. i shall take leave with my mortal frame, wishing you the best