for auld lang syne

as the last day of 2011 fast gives way to the night, i can't help but to feel a little sad. sad that another day has just gone by. sad that another year has just gone by. sad that i can't seem to be in a position that is more comfortable than the previous year. but can i complain? perhaps not. i'll just take this moment to do a little flashback on what happened over the year. some may not be interesting, but is pivotal in making me who i am this time.

firstly, i lost my job. well, probably 'lost' is the wrong term, but 2011 is the year that i gave up on my job and took a giant leap of faith. i went back to my studies. i would say that it was opportune, as things were starting to go downhill. the changes and its momentum in my workplace wasn't favourable to me anymore. on the other hand, efforts to continue my studies also fell into place. it was timely that i was offered a fellowship, and i was also offered the opportunity to learn from one of the best supervisors around. lastly, i was lucky that there are still many people out that that will take care of me, even when i am out of office. i know you may not read this, but here is my heartfelt appreciation to dr leong, prof chan, dato' anwar, rashidah, dr liew and salma.

you win some, you lose some. with the change of direction, 2011 also marks my deep involvement in activism in various organizations. i was offered the position of council member of PHT. my involvement with FRIENDS also increased, and the efforts will continue into the next year. hopefully, i will be able to do more to contribute to these societies. on another front, i have also become actively involved in sexual rights of Malaysians. while i may not be actively participating in their activities, nevertheless i did manage to voice out quite a lot in their online forum.

2011 also saw my fall from grace and innocence in life. i became more active on certain sites, and finally saw my emotions thrown into a rollercoaster, driven off control. in the end, i didn't lose much. probably only my faith in trying again.

2011's birthday was a disaster. it was the worst birthday of my life that i hope will never happen again. it's a birthday that didn't surprise me, but just ruined me so much. there were no birthday cakes. there were no presents. all there was were heartbreak and disappointment

2011 is the poorest year of my life. i have to learn how to conserve my resources so that i can make for the following year.

this year started with a visit to japan. in april, it was hanoi and halong bay. in july, it was bali. sadly, i didn't make it to sri lanka in october. if things were only better then.

the year also saw me become more and more awkward socially. i can't stand social occasions any better, and would like to retreat to my cave of peace and tranquillity.

i guess this is all that i would want to remember now. i need to go. but i certainly won't forget about 2011, and probably will just drink to it tonight.
cheers

happy 2012. and yes, 2011, i love you.