27 dresses

it's funny how me and alan shared the same moods and emotions. as another friend pointed out, probably we do influence each other more often than not.. haha. i am actually happy that there is someone out there that share almost similar feelings. don't get me wrong, i am not happy when someone is miserable. just happy that there is a similar soul out there, and thanking god for placing this similar soul so close to me. (although, maybe all these be an illusion, concieved by fates to trick me, and to pull me further into the path of misery). guess i'll just enjoy the moment as it is now..

so, went out for a movie this afternoon. 27 dresses. not bad. i know, it's a rom-com.. but still.. there's katherine heigl (oh she's hot). and james marsden (sexy, and can sing too..). of course, in rom-com, there's always the low point, and it made me reflect on my life (again!). however, it's happily ever after in reel life, and just another miserable me in reality. it's amazing that the sensations then, coupled with the moments from the movie, just woke me up from my delusion, allowing me to see reality clearly.

how do we perceive self? when we engage in deals, we want what is best for us. we give ourselves the highest marks when we are asked to judge ourselves. but i couldn't do the same for myself now. on saturday, before going out for dinner and clubbing, i looked at my reflection as i was lying down and realised that i am nothing but just a pathetic being, wallowing in self pity. as i was about to lie down on the bad last night, i looked at my window, and all i saw was a horrible monster. have i really turned into such.... i can't face myself anymore..

well, enough for now. too tired to go on...

ciao
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ben