confused? deluded?

so, my first work week have ended. this is the first in the many many weeks to come. all is well, and i've managed to learn many things. and most importantly, i got to meet khoo salma nasution, one of the most vocal NGO representative in penang. she's very nice, and even asked me for some ideas..haha

watched kung fu panda yesterday. it was freaking hilarious, and i think it's a must watch for everybody. i just couldn't help but to laugh out loud in the theater. so cute...haha.

confused with my title? i'm confused with my life. my heart finally got the better of my head, and i did many things which is so not me. i just don't know what happened, what triggered everything, but i did what i wasn't supposed to do... and what's worse is that i spilled matters of my heart to a person.. argh. even as i'm typing this, i am confused....

the thing is, i know that the situation is impossible to happen. but why am i still getting and sending the wrong signals?? what are those signals supposed to mean? and i think i am deluded to think that those signals are meant for me...but they are, aren't they not?? argh!!

at the same time, my heart is crying slowly as i don't know what will happen. as much as i want to be, it's not possible.. and the worst part of my dilema is that i actually caught myself speaking to myself for about half an hour, addressing the heart...argh. i think i'm going crazy!!

ok, enough of this crazy post. i think i better get some rest before i go to work tomorrow. besides, i'm off to my first meeting with YB Chow, the state executive councillor in charged of the local government, traffic and environment.

did my first 'unofficial' balance class just now, from the start to the end. it's the most unconventional, unprepared class, but i think i pulled through, and i think i can finally start a class. i know i have to prepare for more, but my stage charisma is starting to be here. i have people now eager to see me teach, and i was actually flattered this morning to hear that someone actually enjoys looking at me on stage.. haha!!

ok, signing off now! until another day then..

ciao
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ben