Yikes....

ok, i am really really sorry that i didn't have the time to update since the last post. my world is changing fast, and things are so different now as compared to before. previously, i only juggle between studies and leisure. now, i have to juggle work, leisure and also my part as an instructor. so, i guess the blog is somehow being neglected....

as mentioned, work and the gym dominates most of my time now. actually, i think i'm going a little overboard too cos i don't even have the time to sit down and finish the book that i am reading. i can only cover a few chapters in the week. damn. but i guess my body is slowly adapting to the changes. now, i could drive home after work and not fall asleep on the steering wheel (it nearly happened during the first 2 weeks).

started team teaching for bodybalance now. i guess it's a good experience, and i get better feedback from the members. now, i just can't wait for the new release. however, i have yet to really master the choreo for the whole release. i am so dead (tuition is this sunday.. yikes

anyway, despite all the craziness, managed to watch the happening (M. Night Shyamalan) and the missing (starring angelica lee) back to back. it was the craziest night of my life... and i am thankful that the person accompanying me didn't complain.

follow up from previous post.. still confused. managed to get my thoughts settled, but there is still a huge bout of confusion. the signals and signs are there, but i guess the move is impossible. i guess i should take a step back, take a bow, and leave the stage. as beautiful as this stage may be, it's not set for me to be in.

speaking of taking bows, i kinda get hooked on to rihanna's version of take a bow. it's so nice and it keeps on playing in my head. i guess i feel for the song too.. but then, no one cheated on me...haih. probably i cheated on myself for far too long.

had a sudden epiphany of being celibate until the end of my days. i wonder if this is possible. after all, i don't seeing myself consumating my love with anyone, or anything at all. worse, i don't even know if the faculty of love still exists or not.
i belive all i have now is compassion and friendly love.. true love just messes me up, even though it hasn't begin.

i'm starting to exhaust the strenght bestowed on me to move on.. i need new pillars or strenght to carry on.. i think i need new inspirations too.. ahaha

ok, enough for the updates. am going back to work now

ciao
je t'aime
ben