rejoice

ah, the pleasure of finding something back is indescribeable. as bloggers may know, i kinda 'lost' my mp3 player. i was down and depressed for the past week. however, all is different now...it's back. in my arms again....gosh, the euphoria is really indescribeable...now, i just can't wait to upload more songs into my player.......

seated in starbucks now, on a tuesday evening... celebrating my joy. and also with mich and a drink that matches her shirt (brambleberry 'bandung'). it's amazing what u can do with the drinks from here. and also the lovely atmosphere that they evoke here. i just can't wait for christmas to come....

christmas is fast approaching, and my tree is still not up yet. it's still collecting dust atop the cupboard. mich's tree is already up...so soon. anyway, i plan to make mine blue this year. i think it's a really nice colour...

ok, enough of my ramblings while sipping my lovely mocha praline frapp. it may be this season's drink, but i strongly recommend the toffee nut frapp.. that is really really delicious.

ciao.
je t'aime

random

just came back from celebrating lav's birthday. yes, she's officially 22. after 6 months of waiting, she's now as old as i am... well, we celebrated at new world park, while attending the street dance competition. boy, those ppl can really dance. breakdancing, lock, hip hop, u name it, they dance it... i was so impressed..

the past week have been really rough on me, with practically all things going haywire. life sucks, and it sucks more when u look at ur reflection on the knife. tempted, i was...but i figured that it was not worth it. i still wanna be around the ppl that i've found joy in. ppl who support me, and play with me...thank u guys so much for being there for me. u know who u are

went for a thanksgiving pot luck party last night. fun, but really tired. especially when i have to bake two pots of lasagne from scratch. i basically whipped them up properly, and made it palateable. am so thankful that it turned out well...hehe.

Affected

i couldn't believe it, but i was really really affected by my sudden loss. in fact, i couldn't get a good night's rest, as i was tossing and turning on the bed, thinking of my zen. it's gone. i have to face it... but there is still this part of me that want's it back. after all, i've shared 3 years with it... how could it leave just like that.
in fact, i couldn't really concentrate much on my day, kept on thinking about the zen. i was nearly involved in 3 accidents yesterday, while rushing to the gym to look for it. i'm lost and miserable. in fact, i think depressed suits me more.
misery loves company, so they say. and indeed it does. there's been some screw ups in my FYP, and hopefully i can overcome it. my day's a wreck. in fact, suicidal thoughts keep popping into my head. i haven't had any since last year, but today, it returned..with a vengence. i was so close to tears while i was in the shower...but somehow, not a drop was shed. i wonder how long can i hold on before i crumble. where's salvation when u need it??

ciao,
....

Misery

Dark clouds lie ahead. misery looms. just when you think that you are on top of the world, Murphy's law sets in. thoughts don't matter anymore. when despair sets, not even the brightest light will illuminate the sorrowed one anymore......

ok, i'm not that depressed. but still, i'm heartbroken. well, i didn't lose a partner, neither did i lose a loved one. however, it feels like one part of my life is gone. ok, i'm making a big fuss, but i lost my mp3 player. my beloved creative zen neeon. it was my pride, my joy, and my loyal companion. it was there to cheer me up when i'm down. filled my soul with music so pure and lovely...and now it's gone.

all from the folly of an old fool. i actually left it in the gym last thursday. and i didn't realise that it was missing until this afternoon, when i looked for it. gosh..it 's so hard now. i couldn't even get a proper workout just now as my mp3 player is gone. gone from me forever....

but i still hope. i still want to have faith that somewhere out there, there's still a kind soul that will return my beloved to me. i don't ask for much, as long as my zen is back with me.. but in reality, who would want to return a zen that costs 750 bucks? it's an early christmas present to him/her....gosh.

in case you do not return, i hope that u've found a better owner. someone that will treasure and love you like i do. someone that will fill you with music that will lift souls and spirits, sending them to heaven's door. i wish you well, farewell.....

ciao
je t'aime, mon zen

ok, ppl...share my delight with me. my exams are over..yahoo!!!!
watched stardust and beowulf...yahoo!!!
and i bought myself celine's latest album, taking chances ...YAHOO!!!!!!

yup. the week is finally getting better and better. sadly, it's also coming to an end. it's the start of another week soon. hopefully, there's a rollover effect.

anyway, i can smell christmas by the corner...it's so sweet....
must go grab a cup of the toffee nut latte later (from starbucks)..

u know u've put on weight when......an 'ah beng' that u haven't seen in 5-6 weeks tells u that u've gone fatter....
looks like i have to work harder to prepare myself for christmas....hehe

ok, ciao
je t'aime.
p.s. tu est mon lecteur

Monday Blues...

i'm back. don't worry, i didn't sideline this blog. it's just that things have to take a back seat as i face to challenges in reality. well, exams are drawing to an end. another paper this wednesday, and voila, i'm done. however, unlike previous years, i don't get to laze around and enjoy my holidays. i have to continue with my fyp. all the things that needed to be done..gosh, if only i have someone to share my day with....

speaking of sharing with someone special..i'm aware that most people around me managed to find their special someone. well, i haven't. months back, i was looking, 'marketing' myself and improving on my skills. however, i guess it's all no use as apparently what i've done is not enough. maybe i need to change my methods, do some soul searching or just retreat to a life of loneliness.....

well, i guess my hormones are a little 'off', so forgive me if u find this entry boring...

je t'aime

sorry for the stale blog. i know that it's been days since i last updated, but i seriously can't find a good oppurtunity to blog. besides, the thoughts in my head are so random that i can't really focus on something to blog about it. take now for instance, my brain is filled with the spice girls, some manga, gym and weight issues, as well as my uni problems.

one painful lesson i learnt this morning. never, NEVER, not check for your belongings the night before the exams. i conveniently idled my holidays away and didn't study much. hence, i had to cramp 14 chapters in 2 days for the paper this morning. somehow, it kinda skipped my mind to check for my pencil case and exam slip the night before. hence, me went to bed...come this morning, i was launched into panic state level 7/10. i couldn't find my pencil case, nor my exam slip. i searched high and low, time was running out, and the weather was gloom..then, only did i remember that i left it in the lab since last friday. could you believe it? friday to wednesday..gosh. therefore, i had to speed in the drizzle, up to uni, collect my pencil case, only to realise that my exam slip is in the bag that i'm carrying. thank goodness i made it to the exam hall on time and managed to finish my paper. one lesson learned: panicking before exams (especially for trivial matters) may lead to unrest...

i was reading KH's blog just now, and was touched by a few post on having faith and the power of prayers. i kinda lost faith in many things for quite a while. and i don't believe in prayers. however, there is this weird feeling in me to do some good lately, and restore my faith that there's hope in humanity. ever get the feeling of stopping and do something good? i nearly did that last friday night. however, i think there were other things holding my back like my ego or something. however, the feeling was just weird and overwhelming.

oh readers, go check out the new spice girls video. it's titled headlines (friendship never ends). it's beautiful. and do check out geri's abs. they are fabulous. it's amazing that a mother can have those abs while i'm stuck with a beer belly. i need to work harder. and the recent stress is not helping me reach my target. take today, i was so stressed out that i ate more and decided to skip gym and took a long afternoon nap instead. now, i'm feeling guilty and will compensate for gym time tomorrow.

oh, and to all indian bloggers/readers, happy celebrating diwali/deepavali, the festival of lights. may the light of goodness forever truimph over evil (evil ppl like me should be wary..haha).

ciao
je t'aime