out with the old, in with the new...

In one of my previous blogs, i did mention that i had wanted to stay home to celebrate the new year... but guess what.. the social butterfly in me couldn't give up the opportunity to go out to party.. so, i'll be out again.. hehe. hopefully i won't do or think of something that will hurt me physically and mentally. i don't think i can handle it anymore, as i am already at the brink of breaking down.

looking back, another 365 days have passed.. good and bad times.. mostly good, but there were down times also. however, i guess i shouldn't complain, as i still have a house to call home.. am glad that i've finally finished my studies, and am now a working professional. am also really happy that i get to meet so many people and rub shoulders with the who's who in the local scene.. guess there's blessing in waking up at 7am daily..

2008 also saw me progressing from a common gym member, to an instructor. what started off as a very hard journey surely paid off. what i've endured, the disappointment and all.. i guess i've learned from my mistakes, and also from others.. biggest lesson: there's no perfection in this world.

somewhere in the middle of the year, i took a giant leap of faith.. sadly, i tumbled and fell hard on the face. although i managed to stand back on my feet, the scar will never disappear. it'll forever remain as a scar (in fact, i am on the verge of breaking into tears as i write this).. however, i've realised that i've made the wrong judgement, and will learn from this terrible mistake. will never walk this road again..

movies, i've watched aplenty this year. caught almost all major blockbusters.. hehe.
latest watch: the spirit, and yes man. well, do watch the spirit if you are a fan, or you simply love graphic novels, or just wanna watch a pseudo-noir film.
as for yes man, it was a great watch. really loved the message in the movie. i must admit, i am more of a pessimistic person, and would rather say no than yes.. hehe.

ok, enough blogging to end the year with.
have yourselves a blessed new year.
until we meet again, next year.

ciao
ben

ooooo, had forgotten to mention. 2008 is also great cos i'd actually attended the concert for celine dion. it was the highlight of the year, and probably in my entire life of grey..

nouveau...

new hair cut, new hair colour, new ring, new ear-ring, new pendant...
am really loving the new feeling..
am now looking forward to a new start too...

cheers

Christmas Cheer

Christmas has come and gone, yet again. 14 hours ago, i was in a 'boudoir' of BBB, waiting for my drinks to arrive, celebrating christmas with just a couple of friends. i think it was great to have these ppl with me, but sometimes, i wished it was a little different. had i listened to the other 'me' and stayed at home for christmas, will it be different?? should i stay at home for new year's also?? probably that will do me more good than partying..

enough of 'if's, a little recap of yesterday. had great time in gym, dancing, teaching, torturing ppl, and bringing out the 'diva' in me again.. i guess once in a while, it's ok to let go and have fun. however, i dare say, 90 minutes of balance is not that bad.. it's not that hard as we get to play around and relax. however, i guess i should not miss the 90 minutes step class...

a little heart to heart last night with some close pals. more of their heart and my ear (haha.. and it's good for me). however, triggered some emotions and thoughts, but thankfully, i had them under wraps. hehehehe

can't wait to go for movie tonight. i kinda stopped going to the cinema for the past couple of weeks.. but i guess i shouldn't let my free tickets go to waste...

blessed be.
ben

Festivals

Earlier this year, i had a little go in documenting the many chinese festivals celebrated throughout the year. however, as time passes, i guess other priorities and tasks cropped up, resulting in the neglect of such updates.

Anyhow, we are now at the end of the year. the last most important festival in the chinese calendar was celebrated on the 21st of December, namely the Winter Solstice. as i am cantonese, this festival is actually more important to us compared to chinese new year itself. accordingly, the days are now shorter, and nights are colder. with the passing of the solstice, it also means that spring is round the corner...

Although the celebrations are not grand, the basics are almost the same. firstly, prayers are offered to the heavens to express gratidude to the heavens for bestowing its blessings to the family. then, round glutinous rice balls (tang yuen) were also made and served to all family members as the MUST eat food of the day. the roundness symbolises unity, coupled with the sugary syrup to indicate good relations amongst all who eats it.

Not far from the winter solstice, it is christmas. although widely accepted as the celebration of the birth of christ, christmas actually has deeper pagan meanings to it. christmas was originally celebrated by pagan folk as the birth of the mithras, after the longest day of winter.. anyway, it's now a secular celebration, celebrated by christians and non-christians alike.

as for me, i do have my christmas tree all ready, my christmas eve dinner planned, and my christmas day occupied. but with the new change of lifestyle, i am actually running out of time and space to prepare gifts and all for everybody.. now, i really do hope that there are some elves out there who would help..

eat, drink and be merry, they said.. which is what i plan to do tomorrow nite.. hehe.
but before that, i think i may want to go to the hairstylist to get my hair done, and perhaps get myself proper outfit for the dinner.. still dunno what to wear.

also, with the new year approaching, i can't help but to feel so thankful for the year that passed. so many things have happened, so many things have changed. for better or for worse, changes do happen and will always affect me in ways that i could have never foreseen.

time to shake off the blues, and put on a merry hat!!

Merry Christmas, Blessed Yuletide, and Happy Hannukah to all.. (depending on which that you celebrate)

Peace on earth

ciao
ben

what am i blogging on??

haha, was asked this question by a fellow blogger moments before clicking on this page. well, i guess there is no specific topic that i want to blog. just same old, same old.. random thoughts that just spring out of nowhere.. hehe.

anyway, am already in the mood for x'mas (heck, i was in the mood since last week). my leave is approved, and i get about 10 days off from work. i guess this is the best gift i can get from the company.. after all, i don't think i can work when i'm in the holiday mood.. hehe.

oh, am so glad that my last event for the year is over. i have to say, i managed to set quite a high benchmark for my future events. the response was great, everything that i feared would go wrong didn't go wrong.. and i just love the publicity. imagine that, seeing my name in the newspapers.. hehe. and then reading the press coverage of my event (such great coverage in the chinese press).. and the best part, actually heard that my event was publicised over the radio.. yes!! it was on air (mix.fm), and i managed to hear it as i was driving home on friday nite.. haha.

on other matter: saturday shopping.. simply fantastic. bought myself another pair of nike.. hehe. and it was for a bargain (who could resists good bargains??.. certainly not me).. and yes, managed to get myself coloured contact lenses.. hehe. it shall make its debut soon.. now, i think i should get myself some work clothes, perfume for mum, and also party wear for x'mas eve..

i guess i shall stop here, as i am leaving for gym now.. gonna help them set up x'mas tree.. hehe..

ciao
ben

am wishing all a blessed christmas..

thank you

thank you for showing me your true colours. how cheap you are, and your utter lack of pride and dignity. also, thank you for showing me your utter disrespect for yourself as well as the others around you. i'm actually speechless, and certainly, i don't think you deserve any more respect from me now. i treated you as human, and i think you deserve to be what you are..enough said

colour

so, thanks to the multi-composition of races in m'sia, we enjoyed another public holiday yesterday (eid-al-adha). guess i needed that break more than ever, as working life is starting to take a toll on me (and it's only 6 months of my 35 year career)..can i survive? i wonder.. in fact, i'm taking coffee now as i blog..

can't wait for another break.. and this time, it's gonna be a long one. am going on leave from the 24th until the 5th of january next year.. woohoo.. in fact, i did think of running away into somewhere secluded, stay there for a week, then return to civilisation.. hahaha. any ideas where to head to??

am 'spring' cleaning some stuff, despite the fact that it's not even christmas yet. stocked up on some plants (roses and roses), in time for the new year.. and am thinking of 'spring' cleaning myself too.. am reconsidering my hair colour and probably, coloured contact lenses too.. hehe (i'm born under the venus star, so, u can't blame me).. am also contemplating on sprucing up my wardrobe..

did some soul searching and found out the cause of my problems (or perceived problems).. haha. don't know how to deal with it, and perhaps will never know. and perhaps i shall just continue doing things that i will regret at the end of the day..

ok, enough for now. am running dry on ideas to blog..

am starting to get into the x'mas spirit.. and all i want, probably, is just to spend x'mas in a little place, with a nice glass of wine, warmed by the fire, and enjoying traditional carols....(too early to dream though).. ahah

ok, ciao

pour que tu m'aime encore

i was rewatching the 'New Day' concert of Celine's last night, and suddenly, this song struck me like lightning. Prior to belting out her famous french song, she did mention that this song's theme is on the things that we would do, what edges we would go, and many other things, just to be loved by a certain someone (again).. although i have sworn off loving and all, deep down, i think there is still a part that yearns for human affection. with the festivities creeping round the corner, i wish there's someone that i could really spend those moments with..
(actually, i did wish for that during graduation.. but sadly, i graduated alone)

am on a Celine emo session now.. playing all her songs, and relating to them just like that.. sometimes finding the strength in the songs, sometimes, truly feeling the sorrow of the song.. as i have mentioned before.. she's an inspiration, forever and always will be.

on her songs, had a really sudden emotional rush yesterday while watching/singing to 'my heart will go on'. it was the most emotive part, the strongest part, and i was surrounded by the emotion of sorrow that it drowned my voice completely, and welled tears in my eyes. and i'd also realise that 'my heart will go on' is the perfect wedding song, when the bride walks down the altar.. the haunting sounds of the flutes, and the lovely sounds from the violins. (sadly, i'm neither gonna get married, nor will i ever be a bride..haha). probably, i'll make my sister do it.. hehe.

anyway, the whole penang is down in KL for the weekend, so i guess i have more spare time than anything else.. so, i shall utilise the weekend to the fullest. floral fest, bodybalance, shopping, and most importantly, sleep...

ok, enough for now, as i drown myself in Celine's songs again

ciao
je t'aime
ben

waterfall..

i seriously have no idea what's gotten into me lately.. my mood is more volatile than a pms-ing woman. and gosh, i lose my patience at the slightest thing. besides, ppl around me could sense the anger and resentment.. probably the b**** is coming back!! haha.

watched twilight on saturday nite (after a series of unfortunate events). gosh, the movie is just so nice to watch.. i have to admit, it's rather light (what do u expect from chick flicks), but i really love it. the best part, i get to chuckle and laugh at parts from the movie while others are left in a blur.. all thanks to the book. oh, btw, robert pattinson... gorgeous at some angle, weird at some angle.. falling a little short of the edward cullen i had in mind. as for alice.. wow. she's an angel. simply amazing. anyway, do watch it with an open heart.. and then, follow up with a reread of the book. u'll get to the missing scenes, but trust me, u can play them in ur head with the beautiful cast.. verdict: book over movie (but movie is still not that bad)

went to the floral fest yesterday. not amazed.. in fact, a little disappointed as the fest is really really toned down!! come on, they could do so much better. and it ended bitterly.. cos i was caught in the rain. was drenched.. so much for floral fest. didn't even get to purchase some roses so that i can plant them at home
(and possibly the office).

went to the clan jetty after floral fest. this is my first time taking a walk at all those famed clan jetties.. it's such a different sight, different life from the urban one that i am living. imagine that, they don't even have proper sanitary systems...haha. but it's really an experience to be enjoyed. at least, now i can proudly say that i've been to the jetties (and to a certain extent, walked to the middle of the ocean..haha).

anyway, i just discovered one of the most amazing waterfall in bukit dumbar. for 3 years, i've been up and down the road, and never once did i notice that there's a waterfall behind those flats. and just now, i just saw it, and it was so amazing. kinda hard to locate initially, but when i finally did, the waterfall was breath-taking. sadly, there's development right in front of the waterfall, therefore, it's not an ideal recreational area. will try to trace the source via google earth (can't climb the surroundings, as it's too steep).

another week, better work hard. christmas is round the corner, and i have already put up the x'mas tree.. hehe. yup. however, due to inflation and the economic downturn, decided to reuse last years baubles and theme.. therefore it's blue and white again.. probablt it's an indication of my mood.. always blue.. hahahaha.

am now caught at the cross roads.. when should i submit my application form to return to my studies, and what should i really apply for?? should i pursue my dream and become a marine biologist, or become a zoologist, or perhaps become an environmentalist?? i seriously have no idea.. besides, i really want to tie it to my job, so that i don't give up my current job..

anyway, just realised that i've been taken for granted once too often. probably it's time to relook my options, and probably learn how to say no!

finally, am still in the process of coping. at least now i can have limited conservation with the person..at least, i am no longer chasing waterfalls.

ciao
ben