Post 200: Longing

and so,i'm finally back to work. after one month of absence, i am finally back at my desk, doing the same old things before i left. still reading the same old papers, writing the same old stuff, doing the same old things.. has the course changed me?? probably. i'm now searching for greater heights. ambitions are soaring.. but will i ever achieve it?? i doubt

after spending the month, and the success in selling my ideas and recommendations, i suddenly have a sense of longing.. i long to become a consultant. a qualified consultant, nonetheless. according to the institute of management consultants, i must be in practice for more than 3 years, and clocking about 1200 hours per year. ah.. when will i ever be there?? i need to look for a mentor, to guide me, to be come my lead.. so that, eventually, i can do what i've learned...

anyway, the past few days were quite hard for me too.. who would have guessed, it's not easy adjusting back to the life that i left. a certain distance/barrier have surfaced. it seems like every one is just to occupied with something else.. realising thus, i think my job is also done in my circle.. probably it's time to look again. time to spread my wings and soar....

being at work is not easy too.. after 4 weeks enjoying the simple life, reality is really a rude wake up call. suddenly, the office is filled with more people. suddenly, the office seems a little too congested... probably i'm a little resistant to changes.. and sudden changes may actually leave me in various states of confusion and agitation..

anyhow, i am actually awaiting this weekend. yes, it's a little to early to say that on a monday, but this is a really short week. the weekend starts a day earlier, and i am actually looking forward to a silent getaway. in fact, i am trying to run away from humanity, civilization, and its horrors... so, in case you are reading, just pray that my hope will materialise...

ciao
ben