the last airbender

finally, after all the hype and anticipation, the film failed to live up to its expectation. probably i was expecting a little too much.. but still, when i first saw the trailer, i told myself that this is a must watch. however, after watching this film, i am not sure if i will wanna catch book 2 and book 3 or not. i do love the cartoons, and i do think it is amazing, but it failed to translate properly to film. seriously, m.night, go back to where you belong, and leave major blockbusters alone. and the cast.. gosh!! do something!!

looks like my blog is slowly turning into a monthly update, instead of an outlet for me to channel my thoughts and emotions. sometimes, i get so conflicted inside that i don't know where to start. hence, the stagnation. other times, i just feel so tired about everything and don't really wanna blog about anything anymore. actually, i am feeling very very tired now. all, physically, mentally and emotionally. i need a break to get away from all these problems, baggage.. again.

it's now more than a month since i last accepted my new job. this is on top and above my current job. besides that, i am also so actively engaged in rectifying the faults in the gardens that i realised that i have no time for myself anymore. there are just so many things to do.. and the worst part, i cannot save the world. it is not in my powers to save the world. even if i had, the world is not worth to be saved (but then again, that is another story altogether). i do hope that certain things can change, and there are things that i can be proud of eventually. but i do question myself. where do i move from here. i really need to move on, and get away from all these things.

what i thought i have left behind comes back and haunt me once in a while. the powers that be sure has a funny way of reminding me of certain things. and there are certain boundaries that should not be crossed or broken. yes. i see the truth. there are times when i wonder if it is a boon or a bane to be able to see so much, but in this case, it is a boon. it is good for prevention.

i do realise that my defense mechanism is rather weak when it comes to dealing with matters of the heart and the mind. i'd realise that i prefer to walk away, or just turn away, rather than confronting the problem and addressing the issue. and the only thing i do best, is to blame myself for what has happened. seriously, i think i need to change this..but then again, it is virtually impossible to change this as it's been ingrained in me for so long.

alright, gonna keep learning to move on now, and also move to the bed.
ciao