First Night

And so, my training in KL has officially started. I have to say, it is not as bad as I'd expected. However, there are still some kinks here and there to iron out (like the lack of an ironing board in my room, and also the very fact that there is no WiFi in my room). Worst still, I couldn't connect to MSN or Meebo..:(. That is really pulling the life line out of me. First you isolate me, then you pull me away from my means of staying connected and grounded...:(
Just another thought.. looks like i will have to get used to eating Malay food for the one month here.. not really my taste and liking, but i guess i have no choice.. I do wonder, what will be my first thing to eat back in Penang?? will it be Hokkien mee? or fast food again?? hahaha.

Friends, if u are reading this, i really want to thank you all. I am drawing strength from all your blessings given on the night before i left. You may think it's nothing, but the dinner, and the short rendezvous in coffee bean is giving me strength.

I guess that's all i have for tonight. lethargy is slowly setting in, and i start to feel the 'rounding' of my body..

ciao

p.s. don't bother going for another culture show next time. it's not worth it, and it doesn't reflect the true meaning of the culture. I would rather watch myself dance than to watch a culture show like that.

A day in history

Well, if there's anything, yesterday was worth remembering as one of the 'significant' days of my life...
reason: i finally completed a bodyattack class.
after being reluctant to enter a bodyattack class after 3 years in the gym, i finally gave it a go (and endured towards the end).
part of my motivation was the simple reason that i'm leaving soon, and probably should just give it a try (another was due to the music)
luckily, there were loads of friends there, and they were all very happy to see me there.. well, at least they finally saw me doing it.
however, i would not say that i enjoyed it, and probably this is my one and only bodyattack class (or probably i should just do one every quarter, to live the music).. haha

btw, all the pushing in the gym (loading up in pump, adding level on step) is finally getting into me. i can hardly feel my legs anymore (except for the sore). probably it's a good thing (at least i know that i've been there, done that).. for who knows what will one horrible month in KL will do to me (in any case, i'm hoping that i'll slim down then).. hehe.
but all the pushing has its price to pay too.. i'm finally feeling the fatigue and lethargy..and it had affected my bodybalance. in fact, i finally faltered and made a mistake last night in bodybalance.. well, at least i know it'll be different once i am back..

a few months back, i was actually planning to leave and abandon the live here for something else. a retreat, for a couple of days. just to leave the hustle and bustle, and return fresh and anew.. however, with my trip down to KL now, i am somehow getting the cold feet.. in fact, i think it's separation anxiety. i guess all this stems from a certain sense of belonging within my clique.. something which is not good for me.. perhaps, this will be the cause of my downfall...

am trying to gain strength and inspirations from the people around me, and guess what.. i finally found the ultimate model.. Wilhemenia Slater, from Ugly Betty. she's strong, she's willy, and she's trying her best not to let emotions get into her way, not especially in life.. even when she's fallen, she doesn't give up.. besides, she's got great fashion sense.. oh, Willy Slater, u are the one..

ok, enough of my ranting
ciao

Musings

Another round of musings at the beginning of the week.. more like reflections, but i love the word musings.. hehe.

so, i'm leaving at the end of this week. i'll be gone from my comfort zone for a month. being in a place whereby i know no one, and learning new things again. probably this is a bleesing in disguise.. it'll make me stronger, better, and more prepared to move on from the current situation. i wouldn't say that i'll miss the people around me, but sometimes, i think things will be better off without me..

a few things managed to tickle my funny bone over the past week.. firstly, i seem to have the knack to become 'pregnant'. little did i realise, i first assumed the position of a 'pregnant' bodybalance instructor during the training. and now, there's actually 'demand' for me to become preggers.. haha. but sorry folks, 'm a dude, so no chance (even if i was a chick, no chance)

next, a visit to the doctors to get my medical clearance turned out to be quite funny. apart from the long list of medical things that my doctor has to examine, he also has to clarify my mental health.. what i found funny was he actually asked me what was my response to 'depression, attempted suicide, or other psychological symptoms'.. seriously, do i tell the truth?? hahaha. of course not (btw, i'm cleared for the training.. hehe).

again, ppl seem to think that i wear my heart on my sleeve. people seem to think that they can read my emotions and reactions.. sometimes yes, sometimes, not really. there are times when i let loose, but there are times when i put on a mask.. so, how can you say that my emotions can be seen through easily?? hahahahaha. such joke.

for once, a certain change on saturday activity.. instead of clubbing, coffee sessions or movies, spent the nite in g-spot.. with the live jazz band and the singers, it was actually quite fun.. heck, even hit the dance floor for a while..
however, my two left feet got the better part of me.. hahahhahahaha.

i need an explaination to a certain heavy feeling on my chest. it feel as if i'm suffocating or drowning, with a heavy boulder placed across my chest.. and no, it doesn't happen when i'm asleep (sleep induced paralysis). it happens when i am fully awake.. wonder what scientific explaination is that.. hmm???

some comments i've heard over the past few days:
1. You are losing ur humanity (to me).. haha
2. You are such a diva
3. I'm such a bimbo (from myself to me)
4. You are such a whore (from myself to me)

ok, enough of my ramblings, musings, whatever nots.. hehehe

ciao

Weekend blast...

finally, i can heave a hugh sigh of relief...the latest launch for lesmills is over. it was amazing, with loads of surprise, but really really exhausting. in fact, i am seated in the office now with slight lower back pain.. but after all the adrenaline and euphoria, i wonder.. is it really worth it??

for a quick recap, i had many 'first time's over the past weekend. not sure what has gotten into me, but i guess it just fell into place, all at once.

firstly, i actually shed tears (not just one or two). my cheecks were actually wet, in the cinema!! what the heck, you wonder... but yea. it actually happened during 'Marley and Me'. towards the end, i actually had tears streaming down my cheeks.. both sides. that actually shocked me, for i hardly shed tears for movies (in fact, i hardly shed a tear now for everything). even when i was at my lowest point, no tears..... but i guess the death of a dog can really move a person.

next, topless.. yes, to many boys and men, i guess it's a non-issue. but for a person whom was raised in a 'prim & proper' household, it actually took hell load of courage to reveal my skin in public. besides swimming, i haven't really paraded my body in public, and surely never for public viewing.. but i guess, for the sake of the tribe and passion... i have to... (it wasn't very comfortable for me, but i guess i'll just have to do it).

actually, the next 'first time' is something like a continuation from the previous one. to reveal thy body, it has to be clean.. and for it to be clean, it means: no hair!! so, it was the first time that i subjected myself to d.i.y. waxing.. and let me tell u this...waxing hurts like hell. it's not comfortable, the results vary, and it sure gave me hell of a time. my skin is rather sensitive, hence after waxing, it was red and blemished all over. not a good condition...again, for the sake of passion and the tribe...(i guess i can't complain).[btw, looking for sponsors for laser hair removal.. kindly contact me if interested]..

the other 'first time'..hmm, me, dressing up as a rock star. actually, it comes complete with the funked up hair and accessories. actually, i have never done up my hair in such fashion.. never.. and most importantly, i don't really 'do up' anything for a workout class... but yesterday, i defied my usual self, and actually went to the gym with hair standing on it's roots.. pretty cool, but pretty weird too.. haha.

lastly, the 'alternate' me surfaced for a while.. i am not sure what circumstances brought him back, but he certainly was.. thank goodness, he's back to where he belongs. hopefully he wouldn't be back anytime soon.. me not ready to face the consequences..

luv

blood test...

so, it is confirmed.. not only do i not have a heart, i don't have blood in my body also. apparently, when i went to the doctors for a blood test on saturday, the doctor had to withdraw blood from three different sites (both my forearms, and on the back of my palm. even so, there wasn't enough to fill in half a vial for testing (in fact, it only managed to fill 1/5 of the vial)..
so, the verdict: i'm not human.. haha

quickie (march)

well, if there's one thing that i am good in, is being a wallflower.. it's just so amazing to remain anonymous and blend into the surrounding.
ref: quarterly 1/09. after seeing all the pictures on fb, am so happy that there's no(90%) shots of me (yay!!). those are the benefits of being invisible.

am i that stubborn?? i guess i can be.. haha. a certain incident happened recently, and i thought i could outlive it.. but didn't know that it would slowly seep into my bones and affect me. i thought i was beyond that (thank goodness, i have got it off now by my own brand of catharsis).