quarterly 1/09

so, last sunday was hell of a day for me, as i had a 'whirlwind tour' of KL to attend the super workshop for 2009. flying in and out of KL is amazing, but probably the timing is just too long, for i took the first flight in and the last flight out.

quarterly 1/09- amazing, crowded... and i guess that's all i felt for the day. however, i really enjoyed doing bodyvive, and am so inspired by tracy. she's simply amazing as an instructor/presenter.. wow. and of course, seeing riyo on the stage for balance..so cute!! but i guess ben doesn't really belong there.. as for jam.. same old, same old..arnold and fetty. this is the second time i'm seeing them, fun..yes. amazed..probably not. however, am really delighted to know that they brought back 'diva-ness' into the jive track. it's simply beautiful..(not too keen on the songs, though).

aquaria klcc- apart from attending the workshop, also spent some time in aquaria klcc. first time there, and am quite impressed with the collection. however, some of the labels are just not accurate and doesn't provide much information. things that are worth mentioning including the pygmy marmoset (such adorable creatures), those huge arapaimas, large nurse sharks, black-tip reef sharks and leopard shark. am also impressed with the skates and rays collection, but would be even more amazed had they managed to get a manta ray. am a little disappointed with the snakes, amphibians and turtle collection. they only had chelonia and erytmochelys.. hmm..
oo.. did see some nautili.. am so facinated by these creatures.. really hope to see them in the wild.

speaking of wild, i just can't help but to feel like i want to return to the wild. going back into the sea... or headed into some jungles or forest. in fact, i plan to take 2 days off in may, and find some secluded spot for my retreat. am toying with a few ideas like camping, bungalow stay, or probably staying in a hotel somewhere. i wouldn't mind camping on monkey beach once again... hahah. or probably head to south view of a bungalow stay (alone!! with friends from spiritual world.. haha) or probably just head over to bellevue for a night.

apparently (according to my bestie), i don't handle situations well and would want to escape from it all, but becoming anti-social, retreating into my little world, and turning hostile.. according to her, i've done this several times, and am doing it again..wonder if she's right??

was reading a certain blog just now, and just realised how personalities can differ so much virtually and in reality. was surprised, and confused..btw, am also suffering from a bout of confusion and attention deficit disorder, as i am fatigued inside out, and it's apparent on my face. wonder how am i gonna survive until after work??

ok, signing off to the real world again.

ciao
ben

for those searching for heroes, look within thyself first!!!(inspired from the song from bodyattack)

Cleared

Finally, the dust have settled in the horizon. all the cloudiness and dizziness have passed...
yes... i am now an official bodybalance instructor. after nearly 3 months since my training, the practice, the shadow and team teaching session, heartbreak and near give-up situations, i've pulled my act through and settled it once and for all.

Probably this will serve as a motivation for me to continue pursuing my passion. least i forget, bodybalance and all other lesmills programmes are about enjoying ourselves and having fun. being an instuctor shall not limit myself from finding the grace in the programme.

Am really thankful for all the support that i have received, ranging from close buddies, members, head teacher, and even fellow trainees from KL. without all of you, i seriously don't know how will i pull it through. live goes on now...

topic change.. watched red cliff recently. seriously, i didn't know why i passed out the chance to watch it as soon as possible, cos it was damn nice. i am now so waiting for the sequeal. and yea...takeshi kaneshiro is really really hot (and damn good looking to play the military strategies zhuge liang. )
am going for wall.e tonight (free tix..thanks terence!!!)

graduation is just 2 days away.. collected my robes on monday. looked really cool in it (seriously, those purple robes rock), but had absolute no idea on how to put on the golden sash. will be collecting my suit later (tailor-made)..hehe. and also got my hair (front portion) straightened. yes, i've finally changed my looks (and was even commented as a male version of rihanna)... honestly, i don't deny that cos rihanna was my muse...

bought myself a tote bag from fila yesterday. yes, finally got myself a man-bag. after the many seasons since it hit the runway, i've finally caught up with the trend. the best part...it's green (the very colour which is opposing me). somehow or other, i'm starting the embrace the colour of nature..anyway, i am still obsessing about the pair of golden striped shoes from adidas. but i don't think i can get it soon cos i have to allocate the better part of my pay to maintain my car.

speaking of cars, couldn't believe that i have to allocate parts of my pay for 2 months to the car. and now, i even have to spend more, to change the tyres, so that i can drive down to KL at the end of the month.

ok, that's all for now. have to get back to work and complete my task before celebrations.. haha

ciao
je t'aime
Ben

10 days

it's been 10 days since i last blogged. this time, it's not because i am not in the mood to blog, but i just don't have the time to sit in front of the comp and blog. i guess working life is very different from what i used to be. even though i am not handling any major projects yet, there is still so much to do, and so many meetings to attend. but anyhow, i guess i can't complaint much as i love this job, and the people around me.

so, watched hancock over the weekend. nice, but i still think that the best superhero for the season (until today) will be the hulk. there is just so much emotion in the movie that i was moved (almost to tears) a few times. as for hancock, too much of an american dream there (look out for the bald headed eagles). am now waiting for the dark knight, the mummy, and also hellboy 2. from the trailer, it looks really really interesting.

finally got my first bottle of edt. don't get me wrong, i've been using Lauren by Ralf Lauren for so long, that i decided that i need some changes in the scent department. and guess what....i finally settled down with a bottle of Boss, by Hugo Boss. the scent is simply beautiful, and i can still smell the middle note now. citrusy, woody and spicy at the same time... (and also, i think i was affected by their advert in the media and also in the gym..haha). but then, i did try issey miyaki, ck and bulgari before settling for hugo boss. but ultimately, i still want my celine dion's belong!! it's the must have perfume for me!!

oh, least i forget, the flu bug is in, so readers, take heed and care for your health. i was so sick for the past few days that things just didn't turn right for me. and for the first time, i was close to having a blackout in the gym (thank goodness it didn't happen). i guess doing the cross-trainer at break-neck speed, having a cold, and not having lunch prior to workout is not a good combination!!

i miss my yoga sessions... even though i am teaching balance (in a way) now, i still miss my regular yoga classes, as well as the lovely 90 minutes yoga class. gosh.. if only i could work from home, and then go for all the classes as i wish. anyhow, a certain friend of mine is taking her yoga journey to the next level. i guess the most that i can do is just wish her luck..

lastly, for my pathetic love life.. i guess i should take a bow and leave the stage. as much as i thought it was possible, i guess it's still beyond reach. all the signs and signals... i just don't know how to interpret them anymore, and i just don't know how to tackle it with tact. i think i should take my leave....or probably let the weekend decide for me..

speaking of taking leave...i guess i should also take my leave from the world of body jam. i can't really explain the reason, but i have this hunch that i should back down and probably do something else. somehow, i'm torn apart in this decision. there is still heart in me to do jam...but there is this other person telling me that bodyjam today is no longer what it was anymore...i can't explain what, how or when, but i think i should...haih.

guess this little update is enough to satisfy my readers until the next time.
am going out for lunch now before i pass out from hunger

ciao
je t'aime
ben

p.s.: if u do notice, the title for this post is a song from celine too..haha

KL again

i'm here in KL again, after about a month. this time, i am seated in starbucks 1utama as i write this..haha. yes, i'm a starbucks junkie. so sue me. anyway, this is gonna be a really short post as i am about to head home (joa's place) to get some decent rest.
anyway, the trip down here was really nice. managed to stop over in ipoh for about an hour to do some shopping, get some really thick coffee, biscuits, and also tasted the famous salted chicken in ipoh. it's amazing that i can still remember the roads after 2 years from not being there.
speaking of driving, also managed to drive down all the way from ipoh to KL without any untowards incident. this time, the drive is better as the car is actually an auto car (and really large too). managed to locate joa's place without much hassle (considering the fact that i still remember the damansara-penchala way). anyway, it's amazing that joa's housemate is actually geraldine jeremiah, the writer from galaxie. she's such a sweet person to be with. besides, i kinda got my reward from being an avid reader/collector (my earliest issue dates back to 1996), as she gave me a few cds to enjoy..gosh, joa has got really nice company.
anyway, wish me luck as i will be starting my balance training tomorrow. it'll be tough, as expected, but i guess i'm only going to have fun there. anyway, there's been untowards sign as our consignment of dvd for the training is being held by the customs. ah...bad feeling, bad start. let's just hope that everything will be better tomorrow..haha.
anyway, am signing out now.
ciao
je t'aime
ben
p.s. i'm diggin' my ipod!!

earth, earth, i love you...

argh.. i wanted to upload more pictures for my KL trip.. guess that'll just have to wait. probably it's a sign telling me to update u readers with my pathetic life..

firstly, there is nothing harder to do than to restrict yourself from doing the thing that u love. remember me saying that i shall stop singing.. well, it's the third day now. initially, i have to constantly bite my lower lip just to prevent the sound from coming out.. then, i resorted to slapping. but nothing is more painful than the soul itself. especially when the song happens to be your favourite, and u have to remind yourself not to sing a single not. there were times when i slipped (and slapped).. but i shall continue!!

it's earth day today. what have you done? admittedly, i didn't do much. apart from the usual recycling that we do (sorting out newspaper), there is not much 'environment conciousness' in my house. (try telling a 74 year old lady what earth day is!!). but i tried. my house is very dark now... (turned off the lights to save energy), and i promised not to turn on the air conditioner tonight...so, i guess that little may help??

so, i've registered for balance training. soon, i'll be teaching balance back in penang (i hope). in the mean time, mich is also trying to promote me as a yoga master. happy in a way, but at the same time, i still doubt my capability. probably i should start a class and get the hang of it.. probably i'll do it in the botanical gardens this weekend.

i finally found caterpillars on my lime plant. am so happy with that.. finally, my purpose of planting the lime plant has been fulfilled. i just can't wait for the papillionide to develop. will it be just the common lime?? or another clubtail? only time will tell..

just finished the only paper i have to sit for today. relatively ok, not too simple, not too hard either. viva is next week. i don't even know how to prepare.. what slides to prepare...argh. everyone seems to have faith in me.. and telling me how happy and radiant i look... am i??

well, i guess enough for the time being.. enjoy the day.. and probably drop me a line if u have done anything for earth day..

ciao
je t'aime, le monde
ben

screwed up experiment...

i guess perhaps that's the best thing to describe what i am. probably when the higher powers decided to created me, the weren't sure of what to do, hence they screwed up. or perhaps this is the punishment for an inter-racial marriage (no offence to my parents). but this much i can say, i am a screw up..

here are a few points on why i would say so.. (was thinking of this while i was riding home from gym..hehe)
1. well, i love music. i love to sing. i can still carry a tune..but the bad part, i don't have a voice to sing. i don't have an original voice, always stuck in falsetto, and sounds aweful. wonder what was the higher power thinking when it was 'creating' my voice box
2. besides singing, i love to dance also. i was interested in classical dance, and now, some contemporary dance.. however, this passion have to take a backseat during high school, when i thought that i had two left feet. but being back in the picture is not too good either. i was told that i don't convey the passion and the energy in my dance...now, o' higher power..is this any better than having two left feet??
3. the higher powers decided to give me intelligence. i strived hard and made it to the ivory towers..but now, i don't have a job. i'm to fend for myself with nothing in hand.. is this for your enjoyment??
4. i must say, i have a rather good eye for fashion. in fact, i could tell out fabrics, match colours and patterns...but the higher powers decided not to give me the talent in drawing..
5. long ago, a little boy had the dream of being a model...but he wasn't model behaviour. hence, he learned the catwalk, developed a keen sense of fashion, and changed his image...now, time passed. the little boy changed..but guess the higher powers had the upper hand as they didn't wanna hand him charisma and stage presence...
6. then, the higher powers also decided to ruin the little boy's life by restricting his heart. now, the grown boy couldn't find his heart, and couldn't afford to love or shower anyone with affection....besides, the higher power also decided that the little boy doesn't deserve to be loved..haha

well, this was all i could think off in 20 minutes from the gym. when i reached home, i was wondering..am i lucky? or perhaps the guy with down syndrome is happier than i am.. perhaps he's better, as he's void of stress and not bugged down with all the emotional baggage....

then it came to mind.. will i be better off if i continue with what i am doing? or perhaps i should change radically. actually, the thought of being a monk and renouncing the world have been playing in my head for quite a while. there's a part in me that says that there is nothing left here for me, and i should just go be a monk... but there's also this part of me that is not ready and is still attached to worldly affairs..

guess i should enhance my cultivation, and perhaps one day, i'll take the road less travelled.

until then, perhaps i'll share some good news.. i am going for the body balance training next month. the chance is finally here..and i am seizing the moment. however, i must add, this decision didn't come easily. a few days ago, i was so tempted to just forget about going for any training, or having associating myself with anything to do with yoga, balance, or jam...but i guess the higher powers decided otherwise again...haih

is this some sort of sick joke? to screw up my life? or am i just another screwed experiment in the faulty lab of yours??? perhaps i'll be better off as a butterfly.. or heck, being my pet dog is even better than being me...

well, sorry for the emo post after all the joyous moment from the concert. perhaps all the euphoria have finally disappeared and now, it's back to the relative reality of mine...

ciao
je t'aime (again, seriously?? i have no faculty to love...)
ben

balance? jam?

finally, a personal post. i hoped u guys learned a little about qing ming from the previous post. even if u guys can't head to the tombs (or the columbarium), just remember that without our ancestors, there'll never be us.

anyway, i did a sudden jam audition of wed. was only informed in the morning by alan, and seriously, i thought it was another april fool's joke (can't help but to be wary). guess it went alright.

then, went for balance class conducted by janis. it was a usual class, but this afternoon, when i went for her yoga, i was told that she'd conducted an informal audition for me the night before, and i was ok to proceed for training (she did it cause i'm leaving to KL next week).

am going to KL twice next week. as i couldn't cancel my air tickets, i'll have to fly down on the 6th and return on the 10th just in time for my exam. then i'll be leaving to KL again on the 12th for the concert on the 13th. makes me wonder.. why the hassle...is it worth it?

well, i think it's enough for now. i'm tired of typing already.
besides, i wanna catch up on my reading. the book (the tyrant) is just so amazing that i couldn't really put it down.
may do a review soon.

ciao
je t'aime
ben

coffee anyone??

after one whole week spent writing my dissertation (just realised that there are mistakes to be corrected), i finally decided to pamper myself and take some time off to really heal my soul.

and nothing is better to heal the soul than a perfect weekend. slept in late for both saturday and sunday. i had to catch up on some beauty sleep. and i find it just so nice to realise that i don't have to wake up every morning worrying about my fishes or worrying about my lab work.

i guess i started to pamper myself since thursday. had a short facial done, using the masque from the face shop. i am starting to get hooked on their products. they are not that expensive, yet still effective. well, the walnut and oatmeal masque is a must have. my face felt so nice after that (partly also because i was on the bed eating half a tub of raspberry sundae..haha).

friday night was a blast. as usual, it was gym night. was supposed to work out, but eventually, headed to gnc after some cardio and some abs.. confirmed that i am standing at 172cm tall, and weigh 61kg. i am now, 1 kilo away from my ideal weight.. haha. but fat mass was rather high (18.6%). guess i have to cut down on junk and oily food. yoga was a blast. i kinda unleashed the inner yogi that was forced into hibernation for the past one week, so, kinda enjoyed the fast paced, powerful yoga. and to top the night off...intense body jam. instead of doing some 'get-by' tracks, we did loads of cardio tracks. and with the small class, i could use the mirror to my full advantage and took note of every single twist and turn that i made. haha. best part, 'extra' dancing after the class. was supposed to let kah hooi have a go on cueing, but instead, i decided to do more cardio dances..haha. really appreciated the burn.

saturday night was different from usual. since sis was at a party, i decided to 'party' with my besties. instead of the usual hawker fare, we decided to dine in dome. i have to admit, it was the first for me, but it was good. the food is worth their price. we had the baked chicken, tuna wrap, spicy olio pasta, and a bowl of wild mushroom soup. really nice, but pity that their non-beef selection was rather limited...to top it all, a nice glass of caramel choco nut ice blended (to satisfy my coffee kick!!)

then, we headed over to the revolving, city bayview. i haven't been there in ages (i think i was still a kid then), and realised that nothing changed there. the revolving belt is still so slow (60 mins per round), they still have the jawa mee, and ice creams are still the same. i was looking forward for the fondue, but i guess terence was misinformed. so, eventually, i settled for a slice of apple pie with vanilla ice cream..and some of lav's coffee based drink again..

today, was another comfortable day for me. although it may seem a little 'event-less', but i kinda heart the day. finally got to finish my ps2 game. and just started the sequel.. haha. continued with my coffee craving. decided to drop by at lav's work place and took a dig into their mocha-based black forest ice blended. it was divine, especially with the maraschino cherries.. the berries were so large..pity that it wasn't lav who prepared the drink. or else, i would have gotten more cherries....

yoga was again, superb. although the back bends were a little tough, i think it managed to unleash the energy and tension locked within it, liberating forth another new pulse of energy. the only set back, i learned how a c-section feels. but the spill-over effect was a good. i had good vibes to continue my work-out to do cardio and weights. managed to target my chest, arms and shoulders.. so good to be back. and perhaps it affected my mind too... made new friends in the gym again. haha.

but i guess the best part of the day was still around 2pm, when i got off the car at midlands, hiked up the stairs... and headed all the way to music valley to get my hands on the celine dion world tour tickets...yay!!!! (read previous post).

guess i'll sign off here now, to end my lovely weekend.
ciao
je t'aime
ben

uni nite

from the title, it may sound like a prom nite or a ball. but it's far from that. it's a ridiculous monday night, and i am seated in the lab typing this post at half past nine. apart from the vermins, saurians and other creatures of the night, i guess i am the only soul here, still working. all this for the sake of my final year project. often, i question.. why do i have so much to do while my peers are taking it so easy? why do others have help from their seniors while i have to do it all by myself?? then i realise, maybe this will help me in the future. maybe this will make me stronger. make me a better person. i am not even sure if research is in my blood, but i guess my stubborness and spirit will get me going..however, i am blessed to know that i have many friends and also my family supporting me. it's good to know that all these people have given me unconditional support and love, and i really can't thank them enough.

now, for the fun side of life.. went to watch step up 2 this afternoon. it's not as good as the first one, but i wouldn't say that it's bad either. they are just of different elements. however, the first one have more dance moves, whereas this one has got loads of disgusting ppl. plot is really thinner than muslin.. and the style of dancing is not exactly my liking (cos it's very break, rnb.. all of which i couldn't do). come on, a person my size wouldn't be able to spin on the head, stand on arms or even just break dance...(fear is also a factor). but there are also a few good scenes like the latin dance. the salsa is one of the most flirtatious dance, and it's also my fantasy to dance like that. my ideal partner should be able to dance and seduce me on the dance floor.. haha. all in all, just an ok movie.. however, one thing really swooned me over.. the lead guy's teeth. and his smile. gosh, his teeth is so perfect and white...ahh...

ok, apparently i shouldn't teach yoga for free.. but who would want to pay an amateur to teach. guess i'll forever be just the member on the floor. but i guess it's just fine to teach friends... well, decision in due time. and if it's for charity, maybe i'll just channel them to the spca..doggies in the pound, u may have hope for better shelter soon..haha

ok, i'll have to get back to work. guess this post is pretty concise about my thoughts for the moment. until next time, and wish me luck

ciao
je t'aime
ben

edit: guess what, i left my wallet at home. now, i am cashless and id-less. makes me no less different from an immigrant. hopefully no one will catch me later..

sunday= funday

this is the best sunday i had in months. it's been so long since i get to sleep in until about 10. and i don't even have to worry about going up to the campus. it was just a relieve to know that finally, i don't have to head to the campus on a sunday morning.

remember i was contemplating about japanese in my previous blog?? i don't have to contemplate anymore as i did go for japanese this afternoon. well, it's for brunch. so, me, mum, sis and grams went for japanese in yataimura. it's amazing how many plates of sushi me and my sis can down in less than an hour. we had all sorts, salmon, tuna, ebiko (japanese caviar), ebi, and also various types of rolls. and all those were for starters only... adding on, we had california temaki, 2 nabes, and a pot of tofu. really filled me to the brim...

the best part, i made it in time for yoga after the heavy brunch. thankfully, my yoga instructor cum diaper buddy decided to change her teaching style. it was soft yoga, and we got to relax...hehe. am so grateful for that. after yoga, it was another 90 minutes of work out, both cardio and weights. am so happy that prasis actually complimented me on my body shape. according to him, my body shape is looking better now. well.. now, i guess i'll just have to trim my waist, my hips, and tone my lower body. of course, i must not forget bout my upper body too.. and my wobbly arms. still a lot of work to do... yet happy doing it!!

speaking of yoga, i was encouraged by mich this afternoon to start teaching yoga. of course, i wouldn't be doing it in the gym yet, but she suggested me to start teaching to close friends. apparently, i could do it and i should start somehow.. am still contemplating. still wondering what to teach, and where to teach. anyone game for free yoga sessions?? just contact me then...

it's way past midnight and i am still chewing on dried meat (bak kua) from chinese new year. i bet it'll go straight into my hips and butt tomorrow..haha

changed my layout. mainly because of the adverts that i put up. but also because it was bad (according to alan). according to him, it made the blog look old. so, i guess i'll just have to change it back to 23 years old. haha

ok, enough for now.
ciao
je t'aime
ben